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Saturday, November 23, 2013

Letter from Espargal: 23 November 2013

So, another week has been wrapped up and packed off to where-ever they go. Pause for a head scratch! Monday was unremarkable except that Jones left a letter at home and I my English lesson so that I had to abandon her and May at lunch in Loule to fetch the items from Espargal. As it happens, May is a slow eater and I was back in the restaurant in time for coffee.

My class that afternoon found English tenses difficult to grasp. They tend to say things like: "The boy has grapes ate".

I found it hard to explain to why the boy "ate grapes"; "did eat grapes"; "has eaten grapes" but "has been eating grapes". Little wonder they struggle.

Not that they got much sympathy from me; I have fought my way for

LLEWELLYN-LUCIA'S LONDON CATS

years through the jungle of Portuguese tenses, which are vastly more complex than English. There are formal and informal forms of the verb and monsters such as personal infinitives. How primitive peoples ever evolved or embraced such complexities is beyond me.

On Tuesday we sowed our beans. I had been holding back, waiting for rain - of which there's been little sign (until this weekend!). November has been a dry, sunny month. As we dropped May back home I bumped into her gardener, Manuel, who assured me that now was the time to plant, under the full moon. The seeds would wait for the rain, said he, and spring up when it came.

Dubious as I am about the effects of moonshine on agriculture, Jones and I set about sowing the beans in the furrows I'd ploughed the previous week. I tossed handfuls of fertiliser into the furrows at 50cm intervals while Jones followed with the beans. She then raked them over. I would gladly have done so myself except that my back disagrees with rakes (spades, pick-axes etc). Now all we have to do is wait for the rain to rouse

the seeds and April to pick the beans.

Wednesday we visited Sergio's workshop to inspect our nearly-completed display cabinet. The picture shows it looking a great deal barer than it will look in our hall as it lacks the multiple adjustable shelves still to be fitted. Delivery is scheduled for Friday afternoon. I have promised Sergio that I will spread the word about his good work.

SEPTEMBER ALTE FAIR

Thursday morning we took ourselves to Alte's monthly fair. Many of the stalls are manned by gypsies (Romany, if you prefer), who pile the tables high with bags, shoes and clothing and greet foreign-looking folk (like me) with cries of "good morning my friend, very good, very cheap!". It's fair to say that not everything on offer should be judged by its label or would appeal to discriminating shoppers. Nonetheless I was tempted by a denim waistcoat - at least until the zip stuck when I was trying it on.

At that point I wisely desisted and fled the scene, pursued by the stall-keeper who dropped the price in vain as she hurried after me.

THE HAUL
I did however purchase several bottles of jam and paste from students of the nearby hotel school. Four of them, standing around their table, struggled - without their calculators - to tot up the value of two bottles priced at €3 and three priced at €1.50. So I teased them as I totalled the bill and paid it. Mental arithmetic, where art thou?

ARCHIVE MARIE & OLLY
Marie and Olly were recounting as they passed our gate that they had been stopped at the airport roundabout the previous evening by the traffic police as part of a routine checking and breathalyzing exercise. (Olly passed with flying colours!) Roundabouts are favourite venues for such traps. Although well-dined Espargalians know how to avoid the local roundabouts, some - like that at the airport - are just unavoidable. I have thought about acquiring one of those "test yourself" kits to get a better idea of just when I reach the legal limit.

Not that this has been a consideration of late. It is now just over a month since I have taken any alcohol, a state of affairs that may cause my

acquaintance some small surprise. This continuing period of abstinence is part of my campaign to slim down.

After our Sunday morning walk is when I weigh myself to appreciate the fruits of the previous week's efforts. As it happens, last Saturday evening we had enjoyed a barbeque with friends.

And in spite of my relative abstemiousness, the scales declared - however many times I climbed off and on again - that I had gained a kilo rather than losing one. Even though scales are famously mendacious, I found this a bit disheartening. (Things have since improved.)

My brother-in-law, Robbie, has drawn my attention to Amira Willighagen, a young Dutch girl who was unknown until she entered a talent competition. I googled her and was blown away by her performance on uTube. If you haven't come across her yet, do yourself a favour. She's quite extraordinary.

PS. I also googled the expression "short shrift" as I couldn't work out its origins. Fascinating stuff!

PPS. Friday afternoon. Sergio and Leonardo arrived promptly to install our new display shelving in the hall. We designed it to fit into a niche, with multiple shelves that could be easily removed or adjusted up or down. And it's just perfect. Or, at least, we think so. Jonesy has set about removing some of her many treasures from the overcrowded cabinets on either side of the new unit and arranging them on the shelves.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Letter from Espargal: 15 November 2013

Tuesday was not a good day. It started bad and it ended worse. First snag was a breakdown in communications between my offshore bank and my mobile phone. That meant that I couldn't receive bank texts to verify transactions - and that meant I couldn't do any business online.

I spent hours on the phone to the Channel Islands. Martin, Laura, Alan, Chris and a call centre person in India, as well as Vodafone here in Portugal, all tried to sort the problem out - in vain. The only proposed solution was to cancel my texting service and to reinstate it. The bank cancelled it alright. But as I couldn't receive the text necessary to reinstate it, the move wasn't very helpful. (The problem remains.)

FLOWERS OF THE FIELD (RANUNCULUS)

Hitch Two was an expired security certificate that my email programme allegedly encountered; the programme threw up its hands in horror and refused to send any more emails until the certificate was rectified. Talk about bloody cyber bureaucracy! Striking emails are just as upsetting as an incommunicado bank. (I managed to sort that one out)

Hassle Three: Turning to my smartphone to send an email, I somehow managed to download a nightmare home-screen called BLINKFEED that tried to take over the device. Much frantic googling followed.

Finally, as we returning with the dogs from a calming afternoon walk, all hell broke loose on the path 50 metres ahead of us. We hastened towards the fray. Talk about sound and fury. A tumble of shrieking dogs scattered the undergrowth. Our lot had run into the two Dutch dogs - their sworn fence-barking enemies - out with their mistress.

With much walking-stick waving and some whacking we managed to separate the combatants - and then to hold a reasonably civil conversation with the mistress. Since no obvious damage had been done to any of the beasts, we parted on polite terms, shepherding our still-bristling warriors firmly ahead of us.

As I say, it wasn't a good day.

The rest of the week was blessedly less stressful. My first task was to rough-patch the hole that the dogs had bashed in the fencing that runs along a low garden wall. (Twice we came home to find the lads desporting themselves in the road.) When Slavic arrived on Wednesday I set him to line the top of the wall with our remaining cobbles to pin the wire fencing firmly into place.

FROM THE INSIDE

He repeated the exercise with cement on the inside of the fence to ensure that the gang couldn't rip the wire free. They (mainly) behave themselves when we're home. It's when we go out that they start causing mischief. We came home one evening to find one of Jonesy's cushions rent asunder with its contents scattered around the yard.

Thursday Slavic and I set to work to erect missing marker stones around the property. The authorities (in an effort to establish who owns what) now require all land-owners to site such markers at the boundaries of their properties. Most of ours were already in place. We concreted in three new ones and then painted them all white. I have yet to add my initials to those sides of the markers that face our property.

BOBBY COMES TO INSPECT THE WORK

Another paint job was required for the hall wall that is to take the display shelf unit under construction in Sergio's workshop. I'd already removed several paintings from the wall, withdrawn the mounts and filled the drill holes that were left. Slavic sanded down these repairs before painting them out of sight.

We've been into Loule a couple of times to consult with Sergio on details of the unit. He has now prepared the carcass and is busy with the trimmings. Delivery should be towards the end of next week.

While in Loule I bought a new oil filter for the tractor (that Vitor serviced last weekend), giving the salesman the specifications on the existing Bosch filter. He didn't stock Bosch but supplied me with another that he insisted was equivalent. As the picture shows, when I came to change them over, I had my doubts. So back I took it, only to be reassured that according to the computer the two filters were interchangeable and the size didn't matter. I retain my doubts and will speak to Vitor before I go any further.

ON THE COTTAGE PATIO

We've been out a couple of times with UK friends, Mike and Lyn, who are staying in a cottage nearby. They've been blessed with ideal weather, warm days and cool nights with nary a hint of rain (sad to say - my fava beans are waiting to be sown). One afternoon, baggies in her backpack, Barbara led us all to the top of Espargal hill to watch the sunset. The views down to the distant coast are hard to beat.

At exactly 17.25 a flattened red orb sizzled into the sea. Jonesy always looks out for a green ray as the sun disappears. We didn't see one this time. I should add that I felt about green rays the same way I feel about little green men from Mars until, that is, Jones dug out a scientific explanation on why they were occasionally visible.

Another evening we took ourselves to the Zip Zip restaurante in Purgatorio to celebrate Mike's birthday. (Who named the place Purgatory and why I've no idea!)

PALE MOON RISING

Although I've been out to several meals since our return from holiday last month, my glass has contained only water. Cutting out cakes, desserts and most carbohydrates, as well as alcohol from my diet, I've been losing about half a kilo a week as I head towards my 85kg target. I'm aware that Christmas is going to interrupt the programme.

Most noticeable has been the drop in my blood pressure, prompting me to cut back sharply on long-standing medication. The impact of alcohol and excess weight on bp is all too clear.

BUZZARDS PREPARING TO MIGRATE

Jonesy rushed outside with the camera one morning after being alerted to the flock of buzzards that was circling effortlessly over the hillside. Their annual gathering and migration is a spectacular event. The birds were suspended on a thermal that was sweeping them rapidly westwards and this picture was all she managed to snap.

Saturday, November 09, 2013

Letter from Espargal: 9 November 2013

I have just been through my emails and zapped the 28 emails that Google had helpfully dumped into my spam folder. First I skim through them because on occasions Google downgrades a genuine contact. Now and then I find something interesting, perhaps from a kindly West African gentleman offering to make me wealthy. Mostly though, it's the same dull round of sexy ladies who want to meet me, discount offers and revolutionary discoveries that will change my life.

In truth I don't mind suffering this invasion of junk-mail for the sake of being in instant contact with the world. The several restaurants and snack-bars that we frequent now offer free wifi. I confess, not with any pride, that the first thing the pair of us tend to do on sitting down is to haul out our phones and catch up with our lives. Now that I carry my iPad-mini around with me, the temptation to do so is even stronger.

That this is not always wise, I'm aware. In the wake of the Snowden revelations, Channel 4 invited a dozen students to a get-together, sitting them down in a reception room that offered free wifi before showing them what a couple of cyber security experts in an adjoining room had been able to access from their smart-phones. In short, everything - emails, contacts, pictures and a record of places they'd been - along with the opportunity to change or delete any of this information. They were shocked; I am alerted - and wondering whether to invest in Android and Apple anti-virus programmes. Any feedback is welcome.

The week has kept us busy. May was in good form on Monday although she bruised herself in a fall last week and is still very sensitive.

On Tuesday we went to visit Sergio to discuss some minor modifications to the shelving unit he is making for us. He and his assistant were hard at work in their workshop with sanders on a cabinet ordered by another client. It was a couple of minutes before Sergio noticed me and turned the machinery off. He's a true craftsman and a pleasure to watch in action.

I was taken back to my schoolboy weekends when my dad, a talented amateur carpenter, would back the car out of the garage and hunch in similar fashion over his lathe or plane to create chairs, tables and lamps.

Thence to the lawyers to update our wills. The two assistants, Brigit and Vera, occupy the front office. The former grew up in Canada and the latter spent her formative years in Australia. So both are impressively bilingual, switching languages with ease and a command of expression that I can only envy. Anyhow, the lawyers picked through our draft ideas and sent us off to do a bit more homework. In due course we will agree a final draft and then it's off the notary to record and file the wills.

We drove home from the lawyers via Loule's industrial zone where the GLS courier service has its warehouse. I'd already ascertained that GLS had tried (not very hard) and failed to deliver my new Ecco boots - purchased online. Indeed, they were waiting there. I'm an Ecco enthusiast. I have been ever since purchasing a pair on sale during a visit to Germany way back when the world was young. This latest pair - designed for hikers - is wondrously light, comfortable and supportive (I have a lazy foot). It has elasticised laces that don't come undone, even when fastened with just a single bow. I also possess two pairs of Ecco shoes, both acquired in the last millennium, that promise me many of years of good service ahead.

Footnote: what my Ecco boots didn't do was to stop me slipping on a dewy rock as I was descending the property and crashing painfully down a terrace. The dogs leapt in to lick me better again.

No bones broken but both ego and body were bruised. It's a good thing that I'm well padded - too well padded! The diet continues.

Wednesday morning Felismina, our lawyers' former legal assistant, arrived here for a second session trying to sort out our property files. As I have indicated, this has been quite a challenge. In Portugal, four parties take an interest in one's property. The notary oversees and records sales/purchases; the Conservatory registers the title-deeds; the Financas taxes the property and the local council regulates it. All four issue documentation that has to match before the owner can sell.

Each property comes with an article number that changes if one builds or otherwise amends the property. Sometimes, a house has a different number from the land on which it sits. At others, house and land share a number. Additionally, all article numbers in our area were modified this year as a result of the merger of our parish with two others.



THE SKELETON OF THE OLIVE TREE

Thursday Slavic came to work. I have had him spraying the thorny wild asparagus (espargo) that is growing with such abandon across the property. But Thursday's principal task was to cut back the wild olive tree that shades the cobbles at the corner of the house. The shade has been welcome, but not the endless rain of tiny olives, staining and mucking up the cobbles.

THE FOLIAGE PILED UP IN A FIELD

So Slavic ascended the tree with a chainsaw and down the branches came, to be cut up, piled in the back of the tractor and stacked in one of our newly ploughed fields. In due course the bigger pieces will become firewood; the foliage will be burned.

Jones was hoping that I would put some of it through the mulcher. But wild olive branches are both notoriously tough and twisty, as I was telling her, and they're a real pain to mulch - forever jamming up the machine. I'm not enthused.

And thus we come to Friday. The skies are grey with a hint of rain. I have taken a picture of distant Benafim for Paula to show her colleagues in Newcastle. Jones has gone off to pick olives for one set of neighbours and to visit another. Time to put this up on the blog.

Saturday, November 02, 2013

Letter from Espargal: 2 November 2013

When I send emails from the gmail app on my mini-iPad, the device posts them off with a little "whoosh", which gives one the reassuring sense that they are being speedily delivered. Well that's how the week went, with a whoosh, taking along what was left of October.

It began with our usual Monday May outing and an intense English class on how to ask questions in the English language. If you're a native English speaker it will never have occurred to you just how complicated a process this is. In Portuguese, much of the time, all you need to do to turn a statement into a question is to replace the full stop with a question mark. But in English, unless you are beginning your sentence with one of the five question words, you need to use a complex system of auxiliary verbs and main verbs that my pupils find quite exacting. And little wonder.

MELONS - EXCHANGED FOR OUR CAROBS

Also on Monday we went along to the Linen Warehouse on the outskirts of Almancil and purchased a body-form mattress topper. Before I elaborate, I should report that our neighbours, Sarah and David, recently acquired one of those fancy new, multi-layer mattresses - and subsequently sang its praises. Sarah, like me, often clutches her back. My ears flapped.

It so happens that I have been on the lookout for a new mattress for some time to replace our sturdy 25-year old model. Jones, as ever, wants to know what's wrong with the old one. It's not that there's anything particularly wrong with it, it's just that I've slept on bigger and better ones.

PERCHANCE TO DREAM

In my perfect world, we'd invest in a queen-sized bed with an appropriate mattress. Jones insists it wouldn't fit. I reckon it would, albeit with a bit of a squeeze. In the mean time, as a compromise, we've acquired the mattress topper. It came rolled up in a tight ball, like a sleeping bag, which had to be cut free of its plastic sheath, and then took 24 hours, as advised, to expand to its full dimensions. To be sure, it's very comfortable. That's not to say that that the queen-sized bed has been written off - just put off.

SERGIO'S CUPBOARDS

Finally on Monday, Sergio, the master carpenter whose has made several items of furniture for us, called around to measure up for some shelves. Sergio used to run a thriving "made to measure" business in Loule, employing half a dozen apprentices. That was before the "crise" struck and Portugal had to go cap in hand to the money lenders.

For a time thereafter he worked for a Belgian who had the idea of making quality furniture in Portugal and exporting it to Belgium. But when transport costs killed that enterprise, Sergio reopened his workshop and fired off emails to all his old clients to say that he was back in business (this time with a single assistant).

As for the shelves - in spite of having three display cabinets in the living room, we have found ourselves without space to display our ceramics, glassware and other knick-knacks. This is partly because of Jones's fondness for acquiring little bowls and partly because the senior university presents its teachers each

year with some ornate glass or metal item that has to be kept somewhere.

On Tuesday I got the shakes after our morning walk. That was the first complaint my body has registered regarding the reduced calorie intake that it's been subjected to since our return from holiday. Nothing fancy - just avoiding sweets, cakes, desserts and alcohol until I can get back into several pairs of trousers now languishing in my cupboard. Jones, anxious lest I fade away, produces mountainous salad, vege and chicken dinners to sustain me.

The recent rains and grey horizons have given way to blue skies and gentle sunny days - my time of year. As in the UK, our clocks went back last weekend. It's now dusk by 18.00 and dark soon after, which brings long evenings. The fires we lit last week to keep the house cosy, we now light to keep warm - although night temps are still just in double figures. The dogs find places around the fire and we look carefully at the TV schedule to choose the best of the night's viewing - while we have it. We're due to lose all our UK channels when the transmissions move to new satellites sometime soon.

One thing we omitted to do when we constructed the house was to build in a cat-flap. This omission has proved to be a pain. Although we generally leave the back door open to allow the dogs to come and go (via the enclosed patio) at night, the cats don't like that route. Instead Jones leaves the kitchen window open - which invites insects in summer and a cold blast in winter.

To reduce the latter to a minimum, I used my jig-saw to cut out the frame you see here - a decided improvement on the cardboard insert we used last year. But if we build any more houses, they shall be designed with catflaps, cats or no cats. And probably dog-flaps as well.

Our friends, David and Dagmar, had virtually completed the furnishing of their new townhouse when we went around to admire it last weekend. It's roomy and really well finished, with views over the park, close enough to stroll into central Loule while being away from the hustle and bustle. Our admiration was as genuine as their delight. They took us to a posh lunch to celebrate.

PAULA AND ALAIN

Another outing was to the Hamburgo for dinner with neighbours. As I was returning from the restaurant washroom, a young woman sitting at the bar asked me if I was the author of the Letter-from-Espargal blog. I confessed, greatly suprised, that I was. She identified herself as Paula, owner of a nearby holiday house and a fan of the blog, saying she recognised me from the pictures. She hailed from Newcastle, where she delighted in showing pictures of Benafim to her work colleagues. Here she is with her French neighbour, Alain.

Finally, we found a note in our postbox midweek to say that the electricity would be cut for a couple of hours on Friday morning to allow workers to connect up the new supply - one we've watched creeping across the fields for a month or two. And so it was. Midday it came back on, reminding us of just how vital a part it plays in our lives.

I have to say that the new electricity works very much the same way as the old electricity - although the supply should now be much more stable.

A few years ago I was delegated to see the city electrical engineer in Loule because the supply in winter was often so low that we could barely turn the lights on - never mind the oven.

Not many years before that, folks around here were ploughing with oxen or mules and light came from a lamp in the living room. As so often, we count our blessings.

SOME MISTAKE, SURELY!




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