Letter from Espargal: 29 May 2015

At Sunday brunch Pauline said that she'd got a great fright when she went out into the garden that morning. Out of a hole in the ground had emerged two large intertwined snakes that cavorted around her garden.

Any doubts we might have had about the energetic antics of these serpents were swept away by the video that husband Fintan produced in evidence.

Judge for yourselves.

Although most Iberian snakes are relatively harmless and unaggressive - we shrug off the occasional serpentine visitor - I wouldn't have wanted to bump into this pair.

On Monday my English class discussed the unfortunate investors in BES (The Bank of the Holy Spirit) a once substantial Portuguese institution that went expensively and suspiciously belly-up last year. The government, which had to find several billion euros to compensate "ordinary" depositors, divided the messy remains into a good bank - renamed Novobanco - and a bad bank which inherited the junk.

As depositors, we have a particular interest in these proceedings. Fortunately for us, we hold merely a current account and some fund investments. Several thousand investors who put their money into fixed deposits - "guaranteed" by the bank - have lost both their capital and the promised interest. As the minimum investment in these guaranteed deposits was 100,000 euros, those concerned are both much poorer and very pissed off. They include pension funds and corporate institutions that are taking the matter to court. One counts one's blessings.

MELLO GUARDS A "BORROWED" BOOT

May was in good form. When we stopped to draw cash for her, I asked what she would say if I asked for 10% as a commission. "I would say up yours mate," she responded, leaving me quite shocked. It's not the sort of language that one expects from a lady in her mid-80s. May can be quite sharp at times - or should that be quite blunt?

Tuesday, as Jodi worked on my back, we talked about the Englishman in his 50s with an inoperable tumour of the spine who, after a final meal with his family, travelled to Switzerland to seek the services of Dignitas.

He was less in danger of death than of being rendered imminently quadriplegic, a situation he dreaded. His choice inevitably provoked strong reactions in media forums. In similar circumstances I would be grateful at least for the option.

My sciatica, praise be, continues to retreat. I'm sitting down again, cautiously and on lots of cushions. It's a good feeling. However, being a sensible person and aware of the dangers of over-exertion, I'm taking things slowly. I certainly haven't abandoned my restorative twice-daily rests. Too rapid a recovery might endanger these welcome therapeutic breaks - or at least their justification.

Jones, when not repairing Bobby's depredations in her garden - we don't know what gets into him when we're out - has been making more marmalade from our surplus of lemons. She cuts the recommended amount of sugar in half, giving the product a wonderful, tangy edge.

Wednesday, after a message from Vodafone, we went back to the Algarve Forum to fetch my repaired mobile. Vodafone had replaced the battery, the apparent cause of the problem. The phone comes as a sealed unit so one doesn't have the option of changing the battery oneself. There was no charge as the device was still under guarantee, which was nice.

The downside was that Vodafone had wiped the phone in the process and it took me some time to restore my apps and data. We lunched at the Electrico on Faro Beach, watching the planes swoop down on the far side of the estuary.

In the evening I left the car down with Vitor at the bottom of the village. He's taking it in for its biennial inspection - a requirement for all vehicles at four six and eight years. After that it becomes an annual event.

The inspections, conducted on computerised rigs, are rigorous. I used to take my Golf along myself but Vitor knows the routine, can fix any little faults and charges so little for this service that it makes sense to leave it to him.

LARKSPURS

Motorists are required to display the inspection ticket on their windscreens. It's one of the items that the police look for in their numerous random traps.

Earlier in the day we saw half a dozen police vehicles and the same number of stopped motorists near the airport turnoff.

Drivers are also expected to produce their ID, a current licence, proof of insurance, the car's papers (in their names), a road tax receipt plus receipts for any new items they may be carrying in the vehicle.

Our mains water has been coming and going all week. "Mains" in this instance refers to the parish water supply from a borehole down in the valley.

Occasionally the pumps fail or there's a pressurisation problem and we have to revert to the cisterna supply at the bottom of the garden. This means crawling into the overgrown pumphouse, ignoring the spider webs and woodlice, opening one valve and closing another - one of Jones' many duties. I am happy to guide her from the path.

The only crawling I do these days is into bed.

ONE OF THOSE GROUP REFLECTIVE SESSIONS

The birds have been studiously ignoring both their bird-feeder and the adjacent water bowls that I have carefully suspended for them from a tree at the bottom of the south garden. I have put out a variety of bird food in the hope that there might be something attractive to different species.

It's hard to know whether to leave the feeder in place for a while or to seek a more propitious site. While there are many more such sites available, not many afford us a good view from the house.

Thursday: South Africa: The Witbank newspaper reveals that the municipal authorities are pulling out all the stops in a bid to pay overdue Escom bills before the electricity supplier shuts them down. As I shall be visiting my family there shortly, I have a personal interest in the outcome, more particularly as the southern winter is closing in.

The main difficulty, according to the municipality, is that more than half the local users refuse to pay for their consumption, having wired themselves into the system without bothering with the formalities. Efforts to encourage freeloaders to cough up hard-earned lucre have been met with barricades and burning tyres.

SUMMER HAIRCUT, LONGER THAN USUAL TO PROTECT EARS

Post Script: My siesta is interrupted by a huge barking match outside. Jones informs me that the dogs have cornered a large snake. It sounds as though the man of the house is required on the scene.

Jones points out the snake, which looks like those in the video. It has taken refuge under a prickly bush and is hissing vigorously to express its feelings.

With luck it will hiss off in due course. There's still time to finish my siesta.