This week has witnessed a little ado about not very much. For example, I spent a fruitless 30 minutes trying to reload our (secondary) stapler. It's an old model, made by JAKY, not a name that meant anything to me. I pressed and pushed, pulled and prodded the machine from every conceivable angle, all in vain. Then I googled JAKY staplers in the hope of finding instructions. While lots of antique models were advertised on eBay, instructions there were none.
This was frustrating. There clearly must have been a way of sliding out the drawer to put in new staples. Maybe the whole thing had jammed and needed a squirt of oil. I mentioned the difficulty to Jones, who tells me repeatedly that she's not clever enough to understand computers or to do internet banking. So my expectations were not high.
A little later I came upstairs to find the stapler drawer open on her desk. "You just press this little lever at the back," she informed me. What I'm not certain is whether this is a case of beginner's luck or pure fluke. She probably pressed the rear accidentally, causing the drawer to spring open. Even so, being generous of spirit, I was careful to find a few appropriate words of praise. You can't accuse me of sour grapes.
This incident makes me think - for reasons I couldn't possibly explain - of the fellow I heard on the BBC's Sunday religious programme setting out what he described as the Christian reasons for the UK to leave the EU. I was astonished that the producers took him seriously. But they did. He told listeners why the Bible's teaching would favour Brexit. I should have been just as impressed by Christian reasons for standing on one leg. Barbara says that another interviewee argued to stay in. I didn't hear him. What a strange world we live in when the Bible serves to underwrite every whim and notion!
The faces of Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump hog our TV sets, together with those of thousands of migrants. It's hard to know which to be more concerned about. I suggest that his fans be called Trumpettes. Hers might be the Clintstones.
The woman who represents Republican interests in Europe told BBC listeners that it would be wonderful for the US to have its first female president - as long as it wasn't Mrs Clinton - a case of political affinities trumping gender loyalties. I'm not fussed about world leaders' genders; in the US election battle, we're firmly on her side.
Each year an Anglo-Australian couple who teach advanced mountain biking techniques rent one of Idalecio's cottages in the spring to conduct off-road courses in the Algarve. We are not into mountain biking. But we are into dog walking. The point is that the cyclists bring their three adorable little dogs along with them - Marley, Dylan and Bilbo. And, like us, they enjoy country walks.
While our eight are neither vicious nor dangerous animals, they can get excited when they bump into other canines, especially in what they consider to be their home turf. So we do what we can to avoid confrontations. Barbara slipped down to see the visitors early on Monday morning. As per last year, she agreed with them that we would remain within our fences until nine and would be back from our afternoon excursions by five.
A couple of years ago when the British television companies reduced their reception footprint, they cut off mainland Europe from UK transmissions. This was a serious blow to our lifestyles. Expats scrambled to find ways around the silence that descended on their living rooms. We were introduced to a system that gives us access to most channels via a "back door" as long as one has the latest codes.
The downside is that we can no longer make recordings. So if programmes of interest clash, we have to choose. We faced this dilemma recently when David Eagleman's series on The Brain competed with a history of China. Finding a DVD of The Brain available on Amazon UK, we ordered it and opted to watch China instead.
This week when we inserted The Brain DVD into the player, we received a message saying it was incompatible with our region. Closer examination (and an exchange of emails with the supplier) revealed that the programme was a PBS production on NTSC - intended for North America. The series is not worth posting back to the suppliers in Switzerland. So if you are interested in having it, Canadians, let me know. You'll find lots of reviews of his book of the same name online.
Monday my English class discussed the Portuguese taxman's habit of seizing the houses of people - who can't/won't pay their taxes - when lesser seizures fail to meet the bill. Several thousand Portuguese citizens have lost the roofs over their heads. The practice has been condemned by the new socialist coalition. A measure outlawing it is lingering in parliament; meanwhile the seizures continue.
Tuesday and Wednesday we collected rocks from Joachim's carob plantation. (Before carob farmers plant out new trees, they bring in bulldozers to shovel all the stones, rocks and boulders littering the ground into huge piles. And it's these piles that we have been raiding for our walls, not that you would notice any diminution.) We made several runs, both for smaller "filler" stones and larger face rocks. I back the tractor up to bigger rocks and together we roll them into the box.
Fintan and Pauline, who were gardening in one of their holiday villas, invited Jones to help herself to lemons. With marmalade in mind, my wife was happy to accept. She took along a barrel into which the ladies upended a whole sack; however, this stuck fast, still full of lemons. Fintan came along to help them retrieve it while I helpfully took a few pics. We reciprocated our neighbours' generosity by disposing of two tractor loads of cuttings from their trees.
Thursday I laboured with Nelson, an occasional worker around the village, to bring order to our almond-branch-laden fields. Nelson is of gypsy origin, one of the few who mingle beyond their group. As he arrived in unsuitable shoes, the first task was to get him a pair of work boots. This was fortuitous as it emerged on our return that he was celebrating his 40th birthday. I thought better of burning off multiple heaps of branch litter in the face of the strong breeze. We'll try again today.
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